Emigrating to a New Country: Challenges, loneliness and Opportunities

Emigrating to a new country can be an exciting and adventurous experience, but it can also come with a lot of challenges. One of the most common challenges faced by immigrants is loneliness. Leaving behind friends, family, and a familiar environment can be a difficult transition, and it can take time to adjust to a new social network and build new relationships. In this article, we’ll explore the issue of loneliness and offer some tips for coping with it when emigrating.

The Experience of Loneliness

Loneliness is a complex emotion that can be difficult to define. It can manifest in many different ways, from feeling disconnected and isolated to feeling a sense of emptiness and sadness. When you move to a new country, it’s common to feel a sense of loneliness, especially if you don’t know anyone in your new environment.

The experience of loneliness can be compounded by other factors such as language barriers, cultural differences, and homesickness. It’s not uncommon for immigrants to experience feelings of nostalgia and longing for their home country, which can add to the sense of loneliness.

Support from Friends: Joao’s Kindness

When I came to UK, I came to a friend`s house and that helped me a lot. I was in Joao`s house and working with him in an automobile quality company. A detail that I don’t forget it, since the first minute that I got to his house, he started to say our house. That make feel an insider, family and not just a visitor.

Joao was a friend for a long time ago, so we knew each other very well. He became as my protector. We were living in Walsall, near Birmingham and he show me all supermarkets, the products that we need to buy: the best ones and the not so best. That is another thing: when we go to another country and go to the supermarket, we don’t find the same things that we were used to in our homeland.

Navigating Cultural Differences and Nostalgia

At beginning is exciting the opportunity to experiment new things, new flavours. But after a while, you start to miss the cheese that you were used to eat, the fish that you don’t find anymore, the bread, oh oh, the Portuguese bread is so good!!!  The Portuguese coffee  and the Portuguese patisserie, which variety is almost infinity and is a … for the souls of sweet teeth.

We were going to pubs, to the amazing park that was just in front of his house.

He helped me with all paperwork that we need to process when we arrive to a new country such as how to get an insurance number to be able to work and opening a bank account.

Is very important to say that his flat was very small, but his kindness was big, and he gave me his room while he was sleeping in the living room.

He was experiencing loneliness too; he only had a friend in UK but was living far way.

At work, he was my manager, all the explanations and directions, were in Portuguese.

Our free time, we were always together, sharing every meal and he was explaining to me how it was living in UK.

We had a neighbour, Julie, she was in our age too and it was a new divorced woman, so,  we spare some time all together, in the garden, enjoying barbecues, drinking some wine and share different experiences of live. Julie had a dog, Pepper, that reminded me my dog, Cookie, who I was missing terrible. Pepper was not similar with Cookie, she was a French bulldog and Cookie is a mix of terrier. But having a dog around me was keeping remind me of Cookie and how far she was. Don’t get me wrong, but at this point, the pain of my heart was the absence of my dog that was not with me to share all these new experiences of live.

Building Connections: Friendship and Shared Experiences

I can say I was having a good time, living the expectation of a new live, meeting new places, experiencing new costumes, still speaking Portuguese and realizing that my English was not so good when speaking with Julie.

So much new thing to absorb and learning,

My brain was still in Portuguese mode and at beginning, we translate literally from our language to another, but that doesn’t work very well. Ha ha ha 😊

This was my life during my first 2 weeks in UK and I was talking with my friends and parents, in Portugal, once or twice a week.

After 2 weeks, an agency found me a work position in a hospital, in Derby, which was 1h 30 min far way by car.

Joao support me again, and he drove me to Derby, helping me to find a room, what was not easy, but that goes to another article where I will talk about some expectations and what we really found as a new emigrant and to be careful with some people that explore the ingenuity and fragility of emigrants. But I had Joao, was my protector, he is a tall man, and I think that helped us to input some respect.

Professional Support and Emotional Resilience

Here I was, in a very different city, by myself, in a new job. I must say that all the microbiology staff was very kind to me and very supportive. They knew that I had just arrived from Portugal by myself, and that was my first job in UK, so they had all patient with me, speaking slowly and taking me with them at all the breaks, explain me all my doubts and where to go to sort out my things. I really enjoyed working there with that team. Is never too much to say that they will be forever in my heart, especially Maria.

Loneliness Amidst New Experiences

New city means new places to explore. Despite I was by myself in a new place, I was not feeling completely lonely, Joao was calling me every day, spend some weekends with me, I was going to Walsall some weekends too. A friend of mine, Ana, who was living in London, came to spend a weekend with me too. Meanwhile, during the week, after work, I had a lot of spare time that I was not used to. You know, when you have a dog, you don’t have spare time, that beautiful being fill you in all the meanings. And I started to struggle missing Cookie. So, I started to research a way to bring her to me. The same when I was going to the town centre, on my way, watching groups of friends, sat down at the pubs, drinking, listening to music and laughing … was taking me to place in the past, where the memories slaughter your heart and soul. I started to miss my friends, our moments, our laughing, our stories.

At the time I didn’t realize how soon would be history.

Continuing Challenges and Unexpected Twists

One day I received a call from my brother telling me that he was coming to UK with my sister and law. And I thought to myself that will be amazing and all together included Joao, will be a small community Portuguese family.

I was so wrong.

I’m not go into details in this article, but once in UK, my brother and sister and law didn’t get along with Joao. And some time after, all of us were a bit each one in their own corner.

At least with my brother in UK, and because he left his dog with my parents too, I found out the excuse to bring Cookie immediately to UK, explaining to him that was not fair to our parents being with two dogs, which one, my brother`s dog is a big dog and not very social, so Cookie was afraid of her.

My brother had a car, so, we planned to go to Portugal by car and bring Cookie to UK.  And we did it.

I stayed in Derby for 3 months, I was working as a MLA locum and my contract came to an end. The lab had vacancies for a permanent job, and they ask me to apply, but when I saw the salary, I couldn’t not accept. I needed more money for my HCPC registration to be able to work as a BMS (Biomedical scientist), my bills in UK and my bills in Portugal, so, working as a locum was giving me more money

Sadly, I had to say goodbye to all wonderful team.

My next job was in Coventry, and was not easy to find a room, things are not as we expected, it was the beginning of school, and all agencies and landlords were keeping houses and rooms for students.

So, I returned to Joao’s house for a while and then I found a house for me. My travel to work was about 2 hours.

Joao moved from Walsall to another city, my brother was living about 15 min driving from my house and Cookie was with me.

This is the first stage of loneliness, unconsciously hidden through the excitement experiencing new things and a new lifestyle, Masquerade  by the feeling of missing friends, family and moments as a nostalgic momentary situation when still lives hope to find new friends and to whom would share a lot of adventures and laughs.

“ Is amid a crowd that I feel loneliness”

The Impact of Loneliness

Loneliness can have a significant impact on mental health and well-being. Studies have shown that loneliness can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems. It can also impact physical health, with research suggesting that lonely individuals have a higher risk of developing heart disease and other chronic conditions.

In addition to the personal impact, loneliness can also impact social integration. Without a support network, it can be difficult to engage with the local community, build relationships, and develop a sense of belonging.

Coping with Loneliness

While loneliness is a common experience for immigrants, there are strategies that can help individuals cope with this emotion.

1. Connect with others: Making connections with others is essential to overcoming loneliness. Try to meet people through social clubs, volunteer organizations, or classes. Reach out to other immigrants in your community who may be experiencing similar challenges.
2. Maintain contact with loved ones: Just because you’ve moved to a new country doesn’t mean you have to cut ties with your loved ones back home. Keep in touch through video calls, messaging, and other forms of communication.
3. Explore your new environment: Get to know your new environment by exploring the city, trying new activities, and visiting local attractions. This can help you to feel more connected to your new home and provide opportunities to meet new people.
4. Learn the language: Language barriers can contribute to feelings of loneliness. Learning the language can help you to engage with the local community and build relationships.
5. Seek professional support: If feelings of loneliness persist or become overwhelming, it may be helpful to seek professional support. A counselor or therapist can provide strategies for coping with loneliness and offer support as you adjust to your new environment.

Emigrating to a new country is a significant life change that can bring many opportunities, but it can also be a lonely experience.

Coping with loneliness requires effort and time, but it’s important to remember that it’s a common experience and that it’s possible to overcome it. By connecting with others, maintaining contact with loved ones, exploring your new environment, learning the language, and seeking professional support if necessary, you can make the transition to your new home smoother and more fulfilling.

Remember that you’re not alone in this experience, and that many people before you have successfully navigated the challenges of emigration and built new lives in new places.

Sharing Strength: Finding Unity in Shared Experiences

I wanted to share my experience and emotions with you because I believe that sharing our stories can demonstrate that we are not alone in our struggles. There may be individuals going through similar situations without anyone to lean on for support. Please feel free to comment and share your own experiences. Together, we are stronger, and we can learn from and support one another on this challenging experience.